Plenty of Fools

23 Mar

My hairdresser had suggested I create a profile on Plenty of Fish, because she had success meeting her husband there.  So, on a Friday night, I figured why not. I filled out the profile, loaded a few pictures, and waited.

The emails weren’t flying in, so I thought I’d check out the men that were recommended.  Wow, I was stunned. I wasn’t prepared for the crude, disgusting images I was about to see.

There was the pot smoker, the serial killer, the man who vomited and wiped it off of his face, the public restroom selfie, and the anonymous photo.  Oh, and then there was the picture of my ex-husband’s old boss.  Awkward!

After awhile, I went from utter disappointment to hysterically laughing.  How can these men possibly think women would be attracted to these profiles?! They’re either insane, don’t give a rip, or both.

By some miracle, I did find a nice man to chat with.  We’re hoping to meet in person soon after many texts and phone calls.  Who knows what will happen, but at least he had a photo and a personality that didn’t resemble a cheating husband or a total jerk!

Lost Keys and Lost Faith

8 Mar

Last Friday, my daughter and I decided to go and order takeout from a local restaurant. Afterwards, we ran to the nearby drug store to buy some cat food. What should have been a quick stop turned into a two hour nightmare.

I had my keys in my hand as I approached the checkout counter. I dug in my purse to find cash and after I paid for the food, my keys were gone.  That’s when I went into silent panic mode, so not to freak out my daughter (which was pointless, she went there anyways).

I asked the cashier if she saw my keys and she knew I was freaking out and there was no reaction. Not once did she offer to help me look for them or offer any sympathy.  It was like we didn’t exist.

After walking through the store and checking my purse several times, I called the police.  I didn’t know what else to do.  I needed help, and no one else gave a rip. Unfortunately, it took the officer 45 minutes to show up because of a shift change.

In the meantime, my daughter was beside herself.  She’s crying, convinced she will never see her house or kitty again.  All the while, the cashier does not react or help.  Nothing.

The officer arrives and after we chat, he talks to the store manager, who is irate the cashier did not notify her of the situation or offer to assist us.  The officer and manager review the security tape and it clearly shows I had my keys at the counter and then I am wondering where they are.

I was convinced either the customer in front of me took them or the cashier did. But when my new car sat in the parking lot untouched, I believed they were in the store somewhere.

After the officer’s review of the tape, we approached the counter to look around.  There was a hole in the counter where the cord from the scanner went down to the computer.  My daughter looked down there and said, “Mom! The keys are down here!”

My reaction? “You better not be lying.”  Sure enough, the keys somehow managed to fall down this small hole without me noticing or the cashier caring. The manager fished out the keys and the customers around us cheered.

I’ve never been so relieved in my life. All I could think about was the amount of money I would’ve spent on a locksmith to get into my house, change the locks, and get a new key made for my car.

I thanked the officer and manager profusely, and we got into the car and I cried. It was so stressful to think I was locked out of my car and house. What was even more sad, is that my daughter was crying, thinking she’d never see her kitty again, and this woman stood there and didn’t give a crap.

It made me so unhappy to think that someone could be so mean and not care about another human being, especially a child, when they’re in a stressful situation.  I was so relieved that the kind officer, manager, and other customers were there and happy we could go home.

Let’s hope people like that cashier are more rare than the people who have empathy and want to be there for others.

 

Dipping into the Dating Pool Again?

2 Mar

Friends are telling me to jump in the pool!  Sign up for online dating! Go out and have fun! Of course, all of them are either married, seriously dating, or hate men so much they never want to see one again.

While the thought of going out sounds fun, the fear of rejection and creeps is holding me back.  I’ve done the online dating thing before.  Granted, it has worked out in some capacity in the past, it still scares the crap out of me.

It’s almost like another job…sifting through the profiles or swiping left and right, deleting/blocking the perverts, and weeding through the maybes to see if they’re first date worthy.  I feel like I deserve overtime pay from the dating gods.

I’m pondering the idea and over the next few months, I will be chronicling my slow entrance back into the dating wading pool.  I am not ready for the deep end yet.  Slow and steady, tip-toe into the water, and maybe sport some floaties to make sure I keep mentally and emotionally afloat.

The House of Crud

9 Feb

For the past two months, my daughter and I have been playing a really fun and neat game of pass the cold.  I was fortunate enough to have it first, then it was her turn, and like a ping-pong ball, right back to me.

I’ve bragged in the past I RARELY get sick and how my little concoction of vitamin C, zinc, and echinacea keeps the crud away.  Well, not this year!  I took those stupid pills and I still managed to get sick…twice.

It’s hard to dodge illnesses when your child is in a bubble of contaminants at school all day.  They also have the amazing ability to forget to wash hands.  How many times have I had to say, “Wash your hands and….um, hey….you need to use soap!”.

At least we’ve dodged the flu, so maybe our flu shots have worked?  All I know is, I don’t want another ping-pong match of crud.  The game itself is fun, but not when you’re running for tissues and going through cough drops like water!

Super Bowl Snooze

26 Jan

Every year I’m excited about the Super Bowl, but it’s never about the game, it’s always about the commercials.  Oh, and there’s also the Kitten Bowl and Puppy Bowl that add to the excitement of the day.  Why is it not all about the game?

For starters, when was the last time a Super Bowl was a close and exciting game?  When were there teams in the Super Bowl that you actually looked forward to seeing and not watching the same old team again and again.

The snacks and commercials are fun, but they don’t make up for the boring game.  It’s a million times worse when the half-time show is less than stellar.  Let’s hope that Lady Gaga performs an amazing and entertaining show unlike last year.  I like a couple of Coldplay songs, but overall, they’re not a good choice to fire up a crowd at the Super Bowl.

I’m crossing my fingers that Atlanta will make it a game and not roll over to the Patriots and pretty boy Tom Brady.  Let’s have a fun, competitive game for a change!!!

Snowflakes and Driving Flakes

12 Jan

The last three days have been anything but fun on Minnesota roads.  Mother Nature has been laughing her arse off as she’s perfectly timed the snowfalls during morning and evening weekday commutes.

Somehow, even after a couple months of snow, people are still not getting the memo that you need to slow down, back off the car in front of you, and get your face out of your phone.  You would think we’d had ten feet of snow with all the accidents and crawling traffic we’ve had.

It’s crazy how people think they can drive the same in crappy weather as in perfect conditions.  I don’t get the mindset.  How hard is it to just chill out and slow down?  Isn’t it better to go easy and get to work a little later than go nuts and risk an accident that will make you late, possibly broke, and in the hospital?!

 

The Toys to Makeup Express

5 Jan

As I was putting the Christmas decorations away for another year, I was reflecting back on the presents I bought for my daughter, and how they compared to 12 months ago.

Last Christmas, every gift request was circled in the Toys ‘R Us catalog, a one-stop shop for presents.  She was so excited to get puzzles, games, and dolls.  Little girl items wanted by a little girl.

This Christmas, the items highlighted were makeup, nail polish, a flatiron, and hair accessories in several beauty ads.   We went from the toy catalog to the makeup counter at Macy’s.  What happened?!

Granted, she’s too young to wear makeup, but she really likes to play and treat her mom to “makeovers”.  I think it’s just crazy the quick transition from Legos to eye shadow collections.  The You Tube videos went from Let’s Dance to makeup tutorials.

Some days, I feel like she’s 9 going on 13.  Is it just my imagination, or are kids growing up faster nowadays?  Then again, I remember being obsessed with makeup, jewelry, and clothes when I was a kid.  Me and my friends would play dress up and pretend to go out “on the town” with our Prince Charmings.

So, maybe things aren’t so different and the only difference is, I’m the parent watching my child growing out of kid years and heading towards teenage years.  It goes way too fast and before I know it, she will be off to college and I will become the crazy cat lady.  🙂