Confused Woman!

This is the statement I heard the other night while dining at a hot new dining spot downtown.  Our table ordered steak tartare and when it arrived it had a raw egg on top.  One of the guests at our table mentioned to the server, “I hope this egg is pasteurized.”  This is when the server said “Oh don’t worry, it’s organic.”  Huh?  Since this particular guest at our table is well versed in food science and food safety quickly rolled his eyes and said, “There’s another misconception.”

The media has aggressively jumped on the organic train and proclaiming how healthy it is.  The truth is, just because it’s organic doesn’t mean it’s good for you.  Do you think you’ll be healthier eating a box of organic cookies versus a package of Oreos?

The server was clearly uninformed and assumed the raw egg would be healthy simply because it’s organic.  Fact is, if the restaurant served an unpasteurized egg the health department would be all over them like a cheap suit.  A couple salmonella outbreaks and that “so hot” restaurant would be “so closed down”.

Should you purchase some organic fruits and vegetables?  Yes.  Should you buy all organic fruits and vegetables?  No.  If the fruit has a skin on it you remove (pineapples and bananas for example) don’t bother.  The pesticides will be removed when you remove the skin.  Some other fruits (apples, strawberries) should be organic if possible since these types are exposed to more pesticides and therefore may be harmful.

Now, if you don’t purchase organic foods because of cost or availability will you instantly start glowing and drop dead from the pesticides?  No.  However, if you can afford to purchase certain types that is ideal.  If not, rinse them thoroughly to get off as much of the chemicals as possible.

And, for crying out loud, don’t make assumptions that everything organic is healthy and all other foods are not.  Those kinds of assumptions are narrow-minded and possibly dangerous (thinking an unpasteurized egg is healthy because it’s organic).

Be smart.  Be informed.  Now let’s eat!

I pondered this today after my co-worker and friend mentioned reading an article about tipping.  People in the story were questioned whether they tip servers or not if they receive poor service.  My co-worker and I agreed we would both tip something but not very much.  We could not walk away and leave nothing but paying for the bill.

Having both been servers, we understood what it felt like to be stiffed by customers.  We also know what hard work it is to serve food and beverages to demanding people (and their rotten kids who make gigantic messes for you to clean up…not that I’m bitter or anything).

What if the reason for the “poor service” is the kitchen screwing up your order so you take it out on the server?  That happens quite frequently.  The customer can’t run back to the kitchen and yell at the line cook so they berate the poor server and tip poorly.

Ditto for there being a long wait between ordering and receiving food.  It’s the kitchen’s fault yet the server gets blamed.  Now, if they’re out back smoking a cigarette and yapping about their hot date last night and forgot about your order, then you have a right to blame them.  Otherwise, voice your concerns to the manager and leave the server alone.

We also commented on tipping servers generously who gave exceptional service.  Heck, even if it was good and not great, they get a fairly generous tip.  It’s not an easy job, folks.  Give the poor people a break.

Oh, and be nice to them…in fact, kill them with kindness even if they aren’t friendly.  Why?  Remember, these people are serving your food and beverages…use your imagination…enough said.

We’ve all had them…some more than others.  There are the lucky ones (.0001% of the population) who find Mr. Right at the Sadie Hawkins dance in high school, get married, have 2.3 perfect kids, and live in blissful harmony forever.  Then there are the rest of us.  I did not find Mr. Right in high school or college.  No fairytale romances here.  A few good ones and plenty of bad ones.

One horrible experience was when I was dating “a friend of a friend”.  He sounded good on paper and seemed nice enough.  But, after a few dates the red flags started flying.  Why doesn’t he ever let me in his apartment?  Why does he never drink alcohol because if he mixes it with his “mood-stabilizing” medication bad things can happen?  Hmmm…..

I was selling my home and this “interesting” boyfriend and his brother offered to drive the moving truck for me the next day.  So, we loaded up the truck and decided to go out for dinner and celebrate my move.  My boyfriend then complained that he always had to drive and for once he wanted to have a few drinks and insisted I drive.  Fine, no big deal.

When we get to the restaurant he immediately orders an Iron Butterfly ( I don’t know what was in it and it smelled nasty).  And then a second one.  And then a third one.  I didn’t think anything of it until his personality did a complete 180 degrees and his evil twin appeared (we’ll call him Damian).

At this point, I was annoyed and threatened to leave him at the restaurant if we didn’t leave ASAP.  He gets into my car (barely) and threatens to puke the entire ride home (luckily it’s a short drive).  No sooner we arrive and he pukes and passes out on my front lawn.  Great.  To top it off, my neighbors across the street are police officers.  Brilliant.

I somehow get him to wake up and he crawls up to my front porch where he starts crying like a baby and tells me his depressing life story.  After that thrilling therapy session, I get him into the house where he spends the rest of the night face down in the toilet or laying on the tile floor praying for mercy.

The next day, his brother shows up and he convinced me he was able to drive the moving truck to my new home (over an hour away).  As I wave goodbye, I’m wondering in the back of my mind if I’ll ever see my belongings again.

Needless to say, I didn’t see him after that experience.  Nor did I date again for awhile.  No thanks.

I just finished reading “Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother” by Amy Chua.  I was curious because there has been so much controversy surrounding this book.  According to media reports, people were outraged and thought the author was a horrible mother.  How dare she make her children practice violin for hours on end?  How dare she want them to be successful and reach their fullest potential?

Now granted, her methods were a little extreme, but she wasn’t doing it to be malicious.  Her intentions were good.  So, if that’s horrible, then is it okay to be the complete opposite and be a lax parent?  Should you let your kids do whatever they want and have zero expectations of them?  Which one is right?

Either way, in someone’s opinion, you are going to be a bad parent.  Women can especially be hard on one another.  We constantly judge other mothers and compare ourselves.  Why do we do that?  Isn’t it hard enough to parent, work, keep up a household, be a wife, etc. without placing more pressures on us?

No one is perfect and to assume someone is a good parent/bad parent after seeing them in the grocery aisle for thirty seconds is ridiculous and unfair.  Let’s all give each other a break and just do the best we can and love those little kids to pieces.  Then spoil yourself with a pat on the back and that last cookie in the box because you deserve it!

As I’m flipping through my latest fashion magazine, I am bombarded with all sorts of “miracle” creams, serums, and potions that will erase all my wrinkles, dark circles, cellulite, age spots, pores, etc.  But, I feel like no matter how much I spend on these products, Botox or tucks (haven’t done either…too afraid I’ll end up looking like a stretched cat), I’ll never be able to visually re-live my youth.

Our culture is so obsessed with us looking like a twenty year old that once you are over thirty you’re washed up.  Since I am in my forties, in media years, I have one foot in the grave.  When men get older they become distinguished.  When women get older they become has-beens (or cougars-really?!).  What a sad, disgusting viewpoint.

I think women get more fabulous as we “mature”.  Sure we are a little rougher for the wear, but who wouldn’t be after raising kids and picking up after a husband?  Screw the media and let’s embrace our ages.  That, my friends, is real beauty.

I thought since I alluded to mixed media messages in my intro that I’d address this pet peeve in my first post.   I’m confused as ever about what’s right/what’s wrong according to whomever is the expert of the month.

For example:  What time you should stop eating.  Many so-called “diet experts” say you should absolutely stop eating at 7pm.  If you don’t, you’ll get fat.  Then recently I read an article on a health website that said it doesn’t matter what time I eat.  I just need to watch how much I eat.  Okay, so who do I believe?  I get that I shouldn’t scarf down an entire pizza at any time of day but why should I consume nothing after 7pm?  Does my stomach know or care if it’s 7pm or 6:52 and 32 seconds?

Here’s another example:  There are studies out there that claim consuming alcohol is good for you.  Other studies or “experts” say don’t drink alcohol at all.  Huh?  Of course, the first study says alcohol must be consumed in moderation to achieve any health benefits.  In reality, a doctor’s idea of moderation and mine are not even in the same ballpark.  For women, they say one drink a day is recommended.  Are you kidding?  On a Friday night?  To me, that’s just getting warmed up!

Thanks for checking out my new blog.  I hope you find my posts to be entertaining and at times  (hopefully) thought-provoking.

I decided to start this blog because as a woman in her forties you’d think I’d have life all figured out…WRONG!!!  Between the media bombarding me with mixed messages and the pressure/judgement I feel at times from other women no wonder I’m confused!  One minute I feel like the world’s best mom and then some article will come out and tell me my parenting style will scar my child for life.  Great.  I have a feeling a lot of other women are experiencing the same feelings so I thought why not talk about it?