Black Friday My Ass (In Bed)!

20 Nov

Thanksgiving is coming.  I’m worried about not serving salmonella-filled turkey and burning the stuffing.  Others are scouring ads, making lists, and planning their shopping adventures for Black Friday (and Thanksgiving now for many retailers).  Are you kidding me?  What’s wrong with these people?

The last thing I want to do after a large meal and many glasses of wine is sleep for two hours then get up and head out the door.  I’m in Minnesota so the weather is going to be freezing.  So, these crazy folks are going to stand in line, shivering, waiting for the doors to open and to be trampled to death by fellow lunatics.

I get it, you want to save money.  I do too.  That’s why I shop on the internet on Cyber Monday.  I can sit inside where it’s all toasty warm and click away while not being shoved and mauled by others.  Sweet.  My opinion is it’s actually more about the competition and the adventure of finding the bargains than actually saving money.  The ability to dash someone’s dreams as you snatch away the last toy…priceless.

I have no patience.  The thought of being pushed and elbowed by people and having bloody heels from shopping carts ramming into me is enough to keep me out of the stores until after Christmas.  I would have no choice but to go ballistic on someone and end up on the evening news.  Not exactly a good role model for my young daughter.

So, to all you crazy ladies out there, good luck and happy shopping.  Hope you arrive home unscathed.  I’ll be home sleeping, with my wallet and sanity intact.

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