Orange Balls from Hell

7 Feb

Last weekend, I participated in a mini indoor triathlon.  It was my second year and I was pleased to have improved in every category, especially swimming, which is my weakest sport.  Needless to say, after the race, I was famished.  I met a couple girlfriends for lunch at a great local bar/restaurant.

I was psyched to order my favorite sandwich and decided to deviate from the norm and order tater tots.  I eagerly awaited their arrival while munching popcorn and drinking beer.  Then they arrived.

Piled on my plate was a stack of fried orange balls.  I asked the waiter, “What the hell are these and where are my tater tots?”  The waiter said, “These are sweet potato tots.  We don’t have regular tater tots.”

The look of shock and disgust must have been apparent enough that the waiter immediately offered a side of fries instead.  I couldn’t believe it…why would anyone put these on a menu let alone order them?  The waiter said they were healthier…oh, I’m sure they’re so much healthier when they’re fried.

I’m of the mindset that sweet potatoes were one of God’s only mistakes and that they were never intended to be fried and consumed by human beings.  If sweet potatoes are so great, why don’t we have sweet broccoli or cauliflower?  If I want something sweet, I’ll eat a piece of fruit or chocolate.  I’m not going to be gnawing on a sweet potato and especially one that’s saturated with oil.

The waiter thought he was so smart telling me that the women at the next table happened to order the sweet tots and loved them.  Yeah, whatever.  I’m sure they saved so many calories pairing those awful things with their double-decker burgers.  Next time, I’ll order a side of broccoli with a little Splenda…I’m sure it will soon be a trend.

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