Can I get a Refund if I Drown?

7 Mar

I decided that since I’ve done a mini-triathlon indoors, I am more than ready to take one on outside.  However, I forgot that this did include swimming in a lake.  Now, I’m frightened.

I’ve never been a great swimmer…I can doggie-paddle with the best of them.  That’s why I don’t mind swimming indoors.  The pool has sides and a shallow end if I need to grab on or get out.  It’s kind of like a big (wet) security blanket.

The lake, on the other hand, is a big hole of “who-knows-what” and water.  There are no sides and only a shallow end if I never venture away from shore, which doesn’t work so well in a competitive race.  It’s not clear and (relatively) clean from chlorine.  Lord knows what’s swimming or floating in there or growing on the bottom.  For all I know there’s some mutant gold-fish little Jimmy dumped in there back in 1987 that will take a nip at me and make me its lunch.

Okay, so maybe I’m exaggerating just a little bit.  It can’t be that bad, right?  As long as I don’t take in any water I’ll be fine.  It’s not Mexico where the water will give me the runs for a week but who knows?  Perhaps there could be some amoeba that will go up my nose and take over and consume my brain?  As long as the amoeba makes me smarter, it can consume all it wants.

In the end, it probably won’t be the best experience ever but certainly not the worst.  As long as I picture a pool while I’m swimming I’ll be okay.  Well, that and some water wings, a nose plug, and a hazmat suit…

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