When Cauliflower Attacks!

13 Mar

Since the start of the new year, I’ve tried to eat healthier.  More fruits and veggies and less of the stuff I love (pizza, cheese, bread, beer).  It has not been easy to say the least.  I feel even more pressure now that I’ve signed up for a triathlon.  The exercising has been fairly easy, the food not so much.

I decided I’d try to start eating veggies for some of my meals and trying to avoid lots of carbs.  So, I thought I had a great idea…boil cauliflower and mash it with Laughing Cow wedges and some bacon bits.  It will look just like mashed potatoes and therefore, kill my desire for carbs while fulfilling my vegetable quota.

I then proceeded to boil two heads of cauliflower to make my nice little concoction.  I ate it for dinner Monday night and for lunch and dinner on Tuesday.  Then the pain began.  I didn’t know what was going on but my right side was killing me.

At first I started panicking thinking it’s a gall bladder attack or maybe my appendix is about to burst.  But after a little while, the pain subsided and I just thought it was indigestion.  On Wednesday, after lunch, the pain started again and was worse.  This is it…a gall bladder attack for sure!  I’ll be in the hospital for the weekend….and I have a first date with a really cute guy on Saturday!  Damn it!

I went to Urgent Care and the first thing the doctor asked was what I had to eat the last two days.  When I mention the two heads of cauliflower, she busts out laughing.  Well, I’m thinking, it can’t be my gall bladder and appendix if she’s having this reaction.

She tells me that cauliflower is one of the worst offenders in the food world when it comes to gas.  Yes, my friends, I didn’t have an appointment with a surgeon.  I had extreme gas.  Very comforting and yet disturbing to know.  Nothing a good dose of Milk of Magnesia and some Gas-X can’t cure.

Needless to say…I will not be eating cauliflower anytime soon or be sharing this with my date.

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