Spray Bake

28 Jun

Another first…in addition to being a waxing virgin, I am a spray tanning virgin.  Tomorrow night will be my first attempt at a “fake bake”.  I’ve thought about trying it before, but it took a convincing friend and promises of flowing martinis to get me to take the plunge.

All I picture is that tanning lady who looks like my worn-out riding boots.  I don’t want to look like 50 shades of turd brown.  I want that sun-kissed, glowing tan that only magazine and television ads can supply.  My fear is I’ll look like a giant mutant orange.

I’ve tried those self-tanning lotions but never had any success.  I would end up with streaks down my body and look like a human zebra with burnt orange hooves.  Not attractive.

So, I’ll slam a martini and go for it.  Hopefully, all will be fine and I’ll look fabulicious and not freakalicious.

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