Confused Woman!

Today was the day.  Despite the heat, my dad, daughter, and I were determined to visit the Minnesota State Fair.  It’s an annual pilgrimage to the endless sea of fried foods on a stick and people watching that can’t be beat.

What’s amazing is how it’s basically the same crap every year but we still have to go and experience it. Otherwise, it feels like you’ve missed seeing an old friend.  Summer isn’t over and fall can’t begin unless I’ve had cheese curds and beer while strolling through the midway.

As much as I love the visit, my body does not.  A day of indulging in fried pickles, olives, fries, and cheese is enough for any digestive system to protest and vow to strike.

It was fun to be able to go on the big rides with my daughter.  She finally hit the mark on the sign where she can go with me on the ferris wheel and roller coaster.  The giant slide, that’s a blast.  No moving parts and blasting music…just my daughter and I on a burlap mat laughing our way down to the bottom.

Despite probably gaining five pounds and definitely emptying my wallet, we will definitely check it out again next year.  As a proud Minnesotan, I can’t imagine a summer without it.

I bit the bullet today and decided to put in an offer to purchase a townhouse.  It’s priced right, just down the road from where I’m renting, and really nice.  Now, I’m playing the waiting game to see if they accept my final offer.  There’s a second showing tonight.  The sellers could sit on my offer and wait for the other party to possibly submit one or they can accept mine.

This is why I have “homeowneritis”.  It took a lot for me to just get up the courage to submit an offer.  Now there may be a possibility of them trying to get me into a bidding war with another party.  My stomach has been in knots all day with the negotiating.  My afternoon snack was five Tums.

I’m crossing my fingers the sellers will sign off on the purchase agreement and not play games.  I’d like to think they subscribe to “Minnesota Nice” but it’s house selling, not casserole swapping.

I hope it works out because I know rents will not decrease anytime in the forseeable future.  I would rather buy the townhouse knowing I’m building equity than basically chucking money out the window.  However, if the sellers play “Minnesota Not-so Nice”, I will walk away.

It will stink because I really like the place and want to save money, but I won’t be backed up against a wall either.  Maybe I’ll have a cure for “homeowneritis” by tomorrow morning?

I didn’t do it.  I couldn’t do it.  The setbacks and mental demons got the best of me.  I thought I was ready to race after all the encouraging words and offers to help but in the end it wasn’t enough.

As yesterday progressed, I grew more and more depressed about the situation.  I still hadn’t heard from my boyfriend which made me really sad and angry.  Why hasn’t he reached out to see how I’m doing?  Why hasn’t he apologized?  Why hasn’t he wished me good luck?

I know I shouldn’t let a guy ruin my plans and screw things up but I did.  By the afternoon, I was mentally shot.  My eyes were all puffy…I looked like a damn basset hound.  So I spent the evening drowning my sorrows in beer and pasta.

I told myself earlier in the week not to quit because I always tell my daughter not to and I’d be a huge hypocrite if I did.  However, it just wasn’t meant to be.  Maybe I’ll try again next year.  Maybe I’ll just stay single.

It’s been a struggle for me to get ready for the triathlon taking place on Sunday morning.  I had signed up with my friend and unfortunately she had to withdraw due to a medical issue.  I totally understood she had to back out but it bummed me out because I had counted on her to be there with me.

I felt better after talking to representatives from the YWCA.  They said I could complete the race and to not be afraid.  All felt great…I was in a good place…until tonight.

My boyfriend had to suddenly change plans and take his son in for the weekend.  I understand he had to but it was a shock since it was last minute and basically messed up my plans for the race and the weekend.  It wasn’t  his fault but it still sucks.

Luckily, I have amazing friends who are stepping up to be there for me in his absence.  My friend will drop me off and her husband will pick me up.  I’m fortunate to have awesome friends who will be there for me no matter what…you rock!!

Please send me a note of encouragement…I’ll need it!!!

Today, I received a notice from the management company of my townhouse that it’s time to renew my lease.  Of course, I expected some sort of increase, but was shocked when they wanted an additional $30.00 per month!  That’s $360.00 per year!  Are they nuts?  Yes!  Are they greedy?  Of course!

It’s frustrating the management companies can get away with the increases since there’s such a shortage of rentals on the market.  At this time, I don’t want to buy a home since I don’t want to get saddled in to a mortgage payment and all the associated costs and headaches that can go with owning a home.

I really would like to stay where I’m at since it’s in a great location, close to my employer and my daughter’s school.  However, I don’t want to be “rent poor” and have no money to do anything else but sit home or go to work/school.

I wonder if they have a single parent discount?  I doubt it.  The management company doesn’t care, they just want their money.  Perhaps I’ll have to look elsewhere which is disappointing, but it’s reality in this very unfriendly economy.  Guess I’ll just have to buy a lottery ticket on the way to work tomorrow…

This morning, while frantically getting myself and daughter ready for the day, I heard on the news someone from Minnesota won part of the Powerball drawing last night.

The first thought in my mind was, “Wow. Could it be me?”  Next thought was, “No, you idiot.  You actually need to buy a ticket to win.”  Since I figure my chance of being abducted by aliens is greater than my chance of winning I don’t bother to buy a ticket.  You might as well just toss your money out the window.

When I came home from work, they were interviewing the man who won.  He seemed on cloud nine (go figure) and like an Everyday Joe, which had me thinking, “Why couldn’t it be me?”  Maybe it’s not so crazy to have a chance at winning.

I can’t imagine waking up one day and not having to worry about bills.  How nice it would be to not worry about going to a job.  The luxury of being able to buy groceries without having to clip every coupon and shop the clearance racks.

Then again, would I be bored with this existence?  What would I do with all my time if I’m not scrimping and scraping and toiling through life?   Actually, I’d tell you what I would do…not a damn thing and love every minute of it!

Two weeks from today I will be participating in the YWCA Women’s Triathlon and I’m scared to death.  I’ve competed in triathlons indoors but this is the first one outside and in a lake.  I was supposed to be in the race with a friend of mine but she had to back out so I’m on my own…and I’m terrified.

Indoors, the swim is in a pool so I can cling onto the lane dividers or the edge if I’m tired.  In the lake, there are no safety nets, no security blankets.  It’s me and the lake and that’s it.   I am not a strong swimmer…I can hold my own but the thought of being out there in deep water alone is creating immense anxiety in me.

I thought about bailing but that seems like such a wimpy thing to do.  After all, I spent a lot of money on the registration fee and souvenir jacket, so it would be a complete waste if I chickened out.  However, the thought of drowning and never seeing my daughter again is making me sick enough to my stomach that I don’t know if I can go through with it.

The race coordinator assured me via e-mail that there’s no need to worry and there are plenty of safety personnel in and on the water in case someone gets tired or into trouble.  That’s great, but what if they’re busy tending to someone else and don’t see me struggling?  Oops?  Not good.

I’m determined to at least get my sorry butt out there and attempt the swim.  If I can get through that, the rest of the race is a cake walk.  If not, at least I tried, right?