Two weeks from today I will be participating in the YWCA Women’s Triathlon and I’m scared to death. I’ve competed in triathlons indoors but this is the first one outside and in a lake. I was supposed to be in the race with a friend of mine but she had to back out so I’m on my own…and I’m terrified.
Indoors, the swim is in a pool so I can cling onto the lane dividers or the edge if I’m tired. In the lake, there are no safety nets, no security blankets. It’s me and the lake and that’s it. I am not a strong swimmer…I can hold my own but the thought of being out there in deep water alone is creating immense anxiety in me.
I thought about bailing but that seems like such a wimpy thing to do. After all, I spent a lot of money on the registration fee and souvenir jacket, so it would be a complete waste if I chickened out. However, the thought of drowning and never seeing my daughter again is making me sick enough to my stomach that I don’t know if I can go through with it.
The race coordinator assured me via e-mail that there’s no need to worry and there are plenty of safety personnel in and on the water in case someone gets tired or into trouble. That’s great, but what if they’re busy tending to someone else and don’t see me struggling? Oops? Not good.
I’m determined to at least get my sorry butt out there and attempt the swim. If I can get through that, the rest of the race is a cake walk. If not, at least I tried, right?
Confused Woman! 
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