Why is it That…

28 Jan

I’ve been a prisoner in my home, hibernating from the elements.  School has been closed for the fifth time and winter is far from over.  Trying to work from home with a six year-old is challenging at best.

Because of this situation, my mind has wandered and wondered.  It’s a protective measure, like putting sunscreen on.  A necessary step to protect myself from edging towards insanity.  So, without further ado, I present to you my list.  A list of things I’ve thought about for far too long.

Why is it that:

  • You get a new car, park it at the far end of the parking lot, someone with a Ford Pinto will park within an inch of your driver’s door.
  • I get to the checkout line and I end up behind grandma with her 50 coupons and checkbook
  • You race home to catch your favorite TV show and it’s preempted by some “urgent” news that no one gives a crap about
  • I have an important lunch meeting and realize afterwards I had a big piece of broccoli stuck in my teeth
  • I race up the stairs because I have to do something and when I get there I can’t remember what it was
  • You worry so much about what everyone thinks when no one knows or cares who you are
  • Everything bad for you has to taste so good and the healthy food tastes like torture
  • No matter how hard I try to cook at home, nothing tastes as good as eating out…wait, I actually know the answer to this one…it’s because I’m lazy and I hate cleaning up!
  • When you have nothing to do, your kids will leave you alone, but the minute you’re busy they’re all over you like a bad rash

Well, enough of a brain dump for now.  It’s time for the DVR and “Mob Wives”.

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