Back on the Exercise Saddle Again

22 May

Today, I decided to get back on the stubborn exercise horse and back in the saddle again.  This wasn’t easy, mind you.  The exercise horse was running away and attempting to buck me off.  All winter, it was easy to just give up and walk away.

However, I’m now at the point where I’m determined to get on that damn horse and ride it into the sunset.  It’s a perfect time…winter’s finally over (I hope) and my company is giving us a deal we can’t refuse.  With all the discounts, the club membership about a dollar a day.

The club is across the street from my office and on the way home, so I really have zero excuses not to get there.  I also have a co-worker I’m basically bullying to go with me so I’m accountable to someone.  The guilt of letting someone down is far more effective than any weight-loss ad.

I began with an assessment by a trainer, which basically confirmed what I already know…I’m a sad sack and I need to get my fitness shit together.  We also discussed my abysmal diet and what my goals are.  I don’t have huge goals…the typical…lose weight, get toned, and not have my legs look like blue sausages in my jeans.

The program requires I wear a heart monitor so I know what level I’m working out at to achieve optimal fat-burning levels.  Of course, my monitor didn’t work.  I knew I wasn’t dead because I was there talking to the trainer.  He said not to worry about it and go ahead with the kickboxing class.  Great idea.

I get into the class and it’s awesome, because it’s only me and two other people in attendance. I’m thinking this is good…less people to humiliate myself in front of.  Then the class starts and I start to realize I’m clearly out of my league.

The woman in front of me is not even breaking a sweat and the guy next to me is punching the bag like a prize-fighter.  Meanwhile, I’m beet red and breathing like I smoke three packs a day. We start kicking the bags and I’m trying to kick the bag without falling backwards.

Next comes the floor work…yeah, right…I’m barely breathing, the heart rate monitor isn’t working and now you want me to do push-ups and planks?  Uh huh…not happening.

Overall, it was a good experience and I do plan to continue, even though as I’m writing this I can barely type I’m in so much pain.  Tomorrow is the kettlebell class…let’s hope I don’t launch the bell or drop it on my feet.

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