Stop Shmudging Me!

15 Oct

I know, “shmudging” sounds ridiculous.  It is not a real word, obviously.  It’s my self-merging of “shaming” and “judging”.  I feel like this happens far too often with Moms and it needs to stop.  Why do we feel the need to make each other feel on guard or inadequate?

Case in point, “parenting” magazines.  I have been gifted subscriptions to these types of magazines. The “gifter” had good intentions.  Every month I would receive a magazine full of wonderful ideas, articles, craft projects, etc.

However, after reading the magazine, I would feel like I wasn’t a good enough Mom and I needed to get my act together.  The articles claimed to give “useful information”.  Sometimes they did, but at times it felt like I was failing.

I’m a working Mom and I don’t make a lot.  I do the best I can with the resources I have.  When you’re a single parent, you don’t always have an abundance of time and monetary resources to do all the things these magazines suggest.

The same feeling occurs at school with social gatherings.  I live in a great neighborhood and in an excellent school district.  It’s a privilege to be able to send my daughter to her school and she loves it.

At the same time, I don’t need to feel inadequate or my daughter be embarrassed because she doesn’t have the name brand clothes or I don’t drive a fancy foreign vehicle.  My girl is an awesome student and loves school.  I don’t want her to feel bad or be excluded because she can’t have what the other kids have.

So this year for Christmas, I would prefer magazine subscriptions to the mindless gossip mags.  At least that way, I can be entertained and not feel like I’m “less than”.

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