Confused Woman!

I am excited!  Sunday is the big day for bowls…and I’m not talking pasta or toilet bowls.  In a few days, we will be seeing animals and athletes competing, and it will be awesome!

First is the Kitten Bowl.  It’s pretty darn cute watching these little kitties chasing and bouncing all over their little football field.  Next, the Puppy Bowl.  How can you resist these sweet little pups running around?

Finally, we have the Super Bowl.  My drool and food fest.  First of all, I get to graze on snacks and adult beverages.  Secondly, I get to watch hot football players. Halftime will be Katy Perry and Lenny Kravitz, which will be great, because I won’t fall asleep.

The best part?  Commercials!  Even if the game sucks, there are always the commercials to keep you entertained, roll your eyes, or laugh out loud.  Last year’s commercials were lame, so I’m hoping these are much better.

Are you watching?

The last couple of weeks, my daughter and I (who’s seven), decided to spread our exercising wings and try something different.  Walking on the treadmill and lifting weights was a snoozefest, so we thought, why not try yoga and Pilates?

I always thought both were a joke because it looks so easy.  Seriously, how hard can it be to move around, strike a few poses, and lay on the floor?  Man, am I an idiot.  Even the “Yoga for Dummies” DVD (starring our local, amazing fitness expert, Chris Freytag) I borrowed from the library kicked my ass!

What started out as simple stretches, quickly turned into torturous planks and balancing acts.  My daughter and I kept falling all over each other.  I was waiting for the circus music to start blaring from the speakers.

Next was beginning Pilates, or as I like to fondly refer to it as, “I’d rather walk on burning coals, barefoot, while my bottom lip is wedged in an iron vice” Pilates.

There was nothing “beginner” about this video.  I think the instructor was a former prison guard the way she ordered us around, knowing we were writhing in pain.  I don’t know how many times we smacked each other in the face twisting our arms and waists like horizontal windmills.

I’m sure there are amazing health benefits from yoga and Pilates, but it’s hard to see that now when I’m wobbling around like a defective penguin and have bruises like I’ve been in a bar fight.

It’s been a whole week since I’ve started my New Year’s resolutions and I’m already tempted to fall off the wagon.  I even created a vision board, walk by it several times a day, and it still doesn’t curb the urge to swig a Miller Lite or consume a pizza.

At first, it was easy.  I was so proud of my board.  My daughter and I each created our own board and we were both excited to hang them on the wall for inspiration.  Fast-forward one week, and I’m almost doing the “paparazzi is trying to take photos of me so I should turn away and hide my face” expression when I walk by the board.

I’ve been good about exercising and eating healthy so far, and I have lost weight, but I still yearn for the days of old (also known as lazy and eating like crap).  It’s hard to force myself out of bed at 4:27am (Not 4:30am, it has to be 4:27, according to my 7 year-old daughter.  Don’t ask).

It’s also difficult on Friday night when you’re tired and don’t want to cook, or on Saturday when you mess up a dinner recipe, not to call the local pizza delivery shop. Luckily, my daughter has become my in-house trainer and nutritionist.

She said we’re not ordering food and we’re eating what’s in the house.  We are also getting up early to exercise and going to bed early to get our rest.  There’s a handwritten chart on our fridge emphasizing what food we should be eating, along with recorded exercise videos we can torture ourselves with.

This weekend will be the challenge, however, since my daughter will be with her father.  Will I stay on track and behave, or will I go off the deep end to make up for lost beer and bad food time?

The new year has arrived and thus begins the Resolution Roll.  It’s the list of things I’d like to tackle this year.  It’s also the list of items I’ll blow off by the end of the month.

I know that sounds negative, but it’s true.  At first, I’m so gung-ho to get started.  “I’m going to exercise five days a week, eat healthy, and watch less TV.”

Fast-forward three weeks:  The exercising has gone from five days to maybe two, the broccoli and fruit have given way to chips and fast food, and the new reality shows start so I’m glued to the couch.

So this year, I’m going to try a different approach.  It’s called a Vision Board, and the hosts on a local morning radio show said it’s a great way to stay on track with resolutions throughout the year.

The concept is simple: Purchase a piece of tag board/poster board and find pictures, sayings, etc, that describe what you would like to accomplish in 2015.  For example, if I’d like to go to Hawaii, I would cut out a picture of a palm tree or a beach and attach it to my board.

I think this is a good motivator because by placing the board in a place I frequent, like the kitchen, I will remind myself of the goals I want to achieve.  It might also help me to resist opening the freezer and grabbing the tub of ice cream.

My weekend task is to slap this baby together and focus on what I really want to work on these next twelve months.  Will it help me be more successful?  Well, it certainly won’t hurt, and the picture of me in a swimsuit just might scare me enough to get my ass off the couch!