It’s Not Exercise, it’s Pained Pretzel Time!

22 Jan

The last couple of weeks, my daughter and I (who’s seven), decided to spread our exercising wings and try something different.  Walking on the treadmill and lifting weights was a snoozefest, so we thought, why not try yoga and Pilates?

I always thought both were a joke because it looks so easy.  Seriously, how hard can it be to move around, strike a few poses, and lay on the floor?  Man, am I an idiot.  Even the “Yoga for Dummies” DVD (starring our local, amazing fitness expert, Chris Freytag) I borrowed from the library kicked my ass!

What started out as simple stretches, quickly turned into torturous planks and balancing acts.  My daughter and I kept falling all over each other.  I was waiting for the circus music to start blaring from the speakers.

Next was beginning Pilates, or as I like to fondly refer to it as, “I’d rather walk on burning coals, barefoot, while my bottom lip is wedged in an iron vice” Pilates.

There was nothing “beginner” about this video.  I think the instructor was a former prison guard the way she ordered us around, knowing we were writhing in pain.  I don’t know how many times we smacked each other in the face twisting our arms and waists like horizontal windmills.

I’m sure there are amazing health benefits from yoga and Pilates, but it’s hard to see that now when I’m wobbling around like a defective penguin and have bruises like I’ve been in a bar fight.

One Response to “It’s Not Exercise, it’s Pained Pretzel Time!”

  1. Teresa (aka Wold) January 22, 2015 at 2:48 am #

    LOL! Thanks for the heads up on yoga & pilates which I have never tried. I think I’ll go back to my old Buns of Streel Step aerobics for beginners (aka old folks). I use to live off that VHS the days before marriage & kids.

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