Now that it’s getting closer to summer and the Memorial Day weekend has passed, I’m thinking about getting out to bond with nature. However, the days of me camping under the stars or in a crappy little tent are over. The only way I’ll escape the cities for the woods is if I’m either staying in a hotel or a camping castle on wheels.
I know, I’m sure I sound like a demanding diva, but I don’t really mean to be. It’s just that I’m old and I like to be comfortable. When I was a kid and young adult, it was no big deal to sleep on the ground and pee in the forest. Nowadays? No way.
You see, after having a kid, I have the bladder of a gnat. I just look at a liquid and I have to hit the restroom. There’s not a chance I will make it through the night without having to use the facilities and I’ll be damned if I’ll traverse the woods at night for an outhouse. I would be in total fear I’d be some psycho’s re-enactment of Friday the 13th and end up on the evening news.
There’s also the issue of the old body laying on the ground. Sure you have a sleeping bag and maybe an air mattress, but it’s still not the comfy pillow top mattress at home with the 500 thread count sheets. At least in the camping castle, the sheets could come with me and I wouldn’t have paralysis from sleeping on tree roots and rocks.
I do love a good campfire and nothing smells better than coffee and bacon being made on that fire. However, if you’re like me and your campfire cooking skills suck, you could always microwave a meal in the camping castle microwave!
So, here’s to summer and being one with nature…and remember….there’s always a convenience store, camper to rent, or hotel nearby…do they deliver pizza into the woods?
Confused Woman! 
Bladder of a gnat… LMAO!!! I’ve wondered if having an urostomy bag would be better than what I have to deal with after 5 kids, including 1 twin pregnancy and 2 c-sections.