Birthday Blues and Blessings

Yesterday was my birthday…and I had dreaded it for the last few weeks.  I know it’s lame to not look forward to your birthday because, frankly, it’s a hell of a lot better than the alternative.  However, I was, and it was a real bummer.

I think it’s because the last year has been truly awful and I never thought I’d be in this place at this point in my life.  I look at others my age and they seem to “have it all”: the marriage, the house, the stable and well-established careers, kids growing up and leaving the nest.  Compared to them, I am a college grad drowning in debt and just starting out.

If any of you have dealt with a layoff, you know exactly what I am talking about.  It’s an abrupt smack in the face, and knocks you out.  I went from having a well-paying job with no debt to being unemployed and drowning in it.  You go from bitching about welfare with your friends to applying for it.  It sucks.

So for a few weeks, well actually since last July, I have been doing the pity party dance.  Oh woe is me, this is miserable, why can’t I be like everyone else, etc.  Yesterday on my birthday, for some reason, I had a moment of clarity and calm.  I realized that yes, I have my troubles, but I also have many blessings.

I celebrated my 45th birthday…how many others never got that chance?  Yes, I’m struggling financially, but I am slowly crawling my way out of the debt hole.  I have my health, a beautiful and happy daughter, and a wonderful support system of family, friends, and CF.

Here’s to hoping this year will be a vast improvement over the last 12 months and I will continue to climb, grow, and see the glass as half-full.