Confused Woman!

This is a tough one for me.  Over the last year, I had accumulated a few bad ones, and the scale and doctor’s frown on office visits confirmed it.  I needed to get my act together sooner than later.  I’ve had enough of feeling like crap and scowling at the mirror….it was time for action.

For starters, I had to cut out the nightly adult beverage/s.  It had become a habit and it was costing me calories, a good night’s sleep, and killing the will to get up and work out.  I don’t know too many people who have a few beers and crave a bowl of broccoli, so if I was going to lose weight the drinks had to go.

Secondly, I had to commit to getting my sorry butt out of bed at the ridiculously early time of 4:30am.  I am a morning person, so this wasn’t too difficult to commit to.  I know if I put exercise off until the end of the day, I will think of a million and one excuses not to do it, so it has to be done before work.

Luckily, I have a treadmill in the house and iTunes, so I can walk and jam.  I also have a supply of exercise videos and weights, so boredom will hopefully not set in too soon.  At this point, I can’t bring myself to be seen in a gym around all the Fit Franks and Fifis, so my living room will have to do.

I’m trying to get up the courage to take a “before” photo so I can compare in a few months and see, hopefully, improvement.  I can’t ask anyone else to take it for fear of embarrassment, so I will spend the evening contorting myself to take a mirror selfie.

So far, the changes have resulted in my blood pressure going down quite a bit and I managed to shed a few pounds.  It’s just enough motivation to keep me going….well, that and not leaving the doctor’s office in tears.

I’ve noticed this lately in the parking ramp where I work.  There are a lot of vehicles that are backed into their parking spot, and I’m guessing, 99.9% of the parkers are men.  Now, I may be making a broad generalization, but for some reason I doubt it.

Why, you ask?  Well for starters, men have an obsession with wanting to exit a parking spot front-end first.  The majority of the time, when CF and I go out, he backs into the parking spot.  It’s almost like a macho competition to see how expertly they can line up within the yellow striped confines of driving life.

Is there a medal or contest us women are not aware of?  When I am parking, I will look for a space I can drive through so I’m facing front-end first, but I would never back into a spot.  If I attempted, I would for sure hit something because I have no patience to maneuver to get the perfect line up.  I also have no sense of where my vehicle ends and the wall starts, which is a recipe for disaster.

The other morning on the way into the office, I observed a guy backing his SUV quite quickly and expertly into a parking space.  I approached him and said how impressed I was with his maneuvering abilities.  Instead of bragging his amazing skills, he told me it was all thanks to the backup camera.

Really?  I thought for sure he’d be pounding on his chest and strutting like a peacock at his superior parking job but no….he fessed up to the camera buddy.  It’s a nice feature, but it still wouldn’t convince me to back into a spot.  I’d rather focus on getting to my destination and getting out!

Where I work, there is a very nice cafeteria, with a wide choice of dishes at several stations.  One can visit the grill, have a deli sandwich, enjoy some ethnic entrees, savor comfort food or have a healthy meal.  It’s really great they offer not only a place to buy food, but many tasty options that don’t break the bank.

The other day, trying to be calorie-minded for a change, I decided to grab a side of steamed veggies.  The vegetables are at the Comfort Food station.  I asked the “chef” for a side of veggies, and as he was serving them, he proceeded to go on a rant about why they shouldn’t be at his station.

I smiled and nodded as I tried to get away but he kept complaining, saying they belong at the Wellness station and he doesn’t understand why he gets stuck with them.  After a couple of minutes, I just wanted him to shut up and wait on someone else.  I even let him get away with tossing a chicken breast on my plate that I didn’t want so I could escape.

Yesterday, I decided I would give the station and the “Veggie Nazi” a second chance.  Big mistake.  I approached the counter and asked for a side of vegetables.  He gave me a dirty look and said, “Is that all you want?”  All I could think was, “What is this guy’s problem?  Does he get commission off of the chicken breast sales?  Is he offended because he worked so hard on perfecting the chicken and all I asked for was steamed broccoli?”

I love the cafeteria, but from now on, I’m avoiding angry, sensitive Veggie Nazi and his station.  I’ll stick to the salad bar or Wellness station if I want my health fix and let him stew over his vegetable/chicken steam.

Well, the wheels are in motion and I’m so excited!  The editing process has been completed and the design phase is in full swing.  I met with the designer and editor a few weeks ago at a Barnes and Noble to check out book covers to decide what styles I liked/didn’t like.

I never really paid attention to covers before and it’s interesting once you stop and stare.  It was quickly obvious to me what was appealing or a complete turn off.  The designer also did a great job of explaining different types of paper, textures, and inks.  Who knew there was so much involved in a book cover you make a passing glance at?

We’ll decide on a cover in the next few weeks and then work on the interior design of the book.  After all of that process is complete, we gear up for promotion and distribution.  The goal is to have a fall/holiday release and I couldn’t be more thrilled.  I’m so looking forward to sharing my labor of love with you and hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed working on it.

I know it’s not a realistic question but after a week of driving back and forth to a family reunion and commuting to work, it’s a valid inquiry to me.  I need my own dedicated road, free from slow pokes, speed demons, people buried in their phones, and those just too stupid to be operating a motorized vehicle.

The roads are crowded in general due to rush hour and weekend “going to the cabin” trips but add road construction to the mix, and it’s enough to make you want to never leave the house.  Why folks can’t follow directions and move over in an orderly fashion is mind-boggling.  What’s even worse is the morons who refuse to let the other cars in, causing an even larger bottleneck.

How these drivers became the owners of the lane is beyond me.  Then they wonder why they get honked at, flipped off and nearly sideswiped.  Perhaps you should check your overly inflated ego at the garage door and chill out.

What we need in vehicles is a machine that sucks the testosterone out of all drivers.  After successful sucking, a pleasant flowery scent is blown through the vents, along with some soft and soothing music from the speakers.  The more the car commander fights the calming effects, the more intense they get.  The driver is forced to mellow out and be polite on the road.

Not exactly realistic, but I certainly wish some version of this could be implemented, so we could all get along on the pavement without wanting to go all Mad Max on each other.  Is that too much to ask?