Can I Have my Own Roads?

2 Jul

I know it’s not a realistic question but after a week of driving back and forth to a family reunion and commuting to work, it’s a valid inquiry to me.  I need my own dedicated road, free from slow pokes, speed demons, people buried in their phones, and those just too stupid to be operating a motorized vehicle.

The roads are crowded in general due to rush hour and weekend “going to the cabin” trips but add road construction to the mix, and it’s enough to make you want to never leave the house.  Why folks can’t follow directions and move over in an orderly fashion is mind-boggling.  What’s even worse is the morons who refuse to let the other cars in, causing an even larger bottleneck.

How these drivers became the owners of the lane is beyond me.  Then they wonder why they get honked at, flipped off and nearly sideswiped.  Perhaps you should check your overly inflated ego at the garage door and chill out.

What we need in vehicles is a machine that sucks the testosterone out of all drivers.  After successful sucking, a pleasant flowery scent is blown through the vents, along with some soft and soothing music from the speakers.  The more the car commander fights the calming effects, the more intense they get.  The driver is forced to mellow out and be polite on the road.

Not exactly realistic, but I certainly wish some version of this could be implemented, so we could all get along on the pavement without wanting to go all Mad Max on each other.  Is that too much to ask?

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