Archive | April, 2017

Two Month Challenge

26 Apr

Last Monday, two months before my birthday, I decided to give myself a challenge. I wanted to push my buttons and get up the motivation to cut back on drinking, exercise more, and cut back on junk food.

The giant 47 was looming in my thoughts and making me think long and hard about where I want to be physically, mentally, spiritually, and fiscally. When my mom was 47, I was engaged to my first husband. Where am I at? I am a single mother to a 9 1/2 year-old daughter. How times and lives have changed!

My situation and struggles are far different than I thought they would be at this age. I pictured being happily married, kids, pets, and financially secure with the white picket fence. Well, none of that is reality except for the kid and pet.

Of course I love my daughter and cat to pieces, I just wish things weren’t so challenging at times. I would love to shop at Whole Foods or Nordstrom and not care how much I spend.  It would be great to never worry about paying bills and be able to jet off somewhere warm for spring break.

However, that is not where I’m at and I have to be okay with it. I’m also not where I want to be regarding health and fitness, hence, the challenge. I want to be healthy and strong to take on what life throws at me and not run to Papa Murphy’s or the liquor store to make me feel better. Short term it helps to forget, long term it makes you gain weight, get out of shape, and spend too much money.

The first week has gone very well.  I have lost 6 lbs. and have exercised more and cut back on drinking and junk. It feels really good to push the demons aside, focus on the positive, and get back on track to the woman I was before divorce and job loss got in the way.

POF Flop!

12 Apr

Well……last week I told you about my upcoming date with a man I connected with on POF.  Now, I will share what an epic disaster it was, and how I will never put myself in that situation again.

After weeks of talking and texting, I was thinking he might be someone I would like to meet and possibly date.  Friday, I was a nervous wreck, waiting for work to be over so I could head to his house.

Everything about him seemed promising on paper (or a computer monitor in this case). We got along really well, had common interests, and he didn’t have a lot of baggage or issues (that I knew of).

I pulled up to the house he was staying in (he was renting a room in a friend’s house) and was cautiously optimistic. His roommate opened the door and she was very nice.  Her daughter was adorable. Their puppy was cute! Things are looking good! I could see myself spending time with these people…and then…he walked around the corner.

I was shocked and immediately shut down…Tiny Tim was walking towards me, making direct eye contact. His profile said an average height and I could almost rest my elbow on his head….and I’m 5’3″!!  Yuck!

My first reaction was I wanted to run out of there and never look back. However, being the nice person I am, I stayed and asked for a drink. I had zero interest in him, but why ruin a perfectly good evening, right?

Wrong! It was SO awkward!!!! I’m sure he could tell something was up when he would try to sit next to me or hug me and I would squirm and dodge to avoid him. I was so incredibly disappointed and mad he basically lied on his profile. You can’t say you’re 5’9″ when you look like you should be riding a horse in the Kentucky Derby!

We went out to dinner and as we were waiting for the check, I confessed and said I was not feeling it and didn’t think there was a connection. I prayed he wouldn’t be mad, since I was supposed to stay at his house that night (dumb move).

Luckily, he handled it well, and was okay with being friends. We decided to make the best of the night and go out to a couple bars and have fun. However, he forgot I was in friend mode and proceeded to make moves on me the entire night. I was so repulsed….I don’t want to kiss my grandpa!

Also, during dinner, he told me he and his female friend (whom he said he had a “platonic” relationship with) will sleep in the same bed, naked, kiss, and cuddle/spoon (insert gag reflex here!) but not fornicate (his word, not mine).

I told him, “I don’t do that with my guy friends. That is not normal.” Another disappointment and red flag to add to the utter disappointment and disgust I had experienced all night.

I went to sleep in his bedroom and he slept on the couch. I had the family dog on my bed to guard me from grandpa. I woke up at 7:30 and was out of there by 8. I gave him a quick hug goodbye, and got the hell out of there!

I’ve never been so happy to see my house and my cat after that fiasco. There’s no place like home. Lesson learned…if you’re meeting for the first time, DO NOT meet at someone’s house, no matter how nice and “perfect” they seem.

Going forward, I will only meet in a neutral place for coffee. That way, if he walks in and I’m disappointed/repulsed, I can have a quick latte and bail. It also reinforces the idea of maybe not relying on the online dating apps to meet Mr. Right. It’s so easy for people to lie, exaggerate, and deceive you.

Bye-bye to online dating for now. I’m okay hanging with my cat, daughter, friends, and family!

POF Possibility?

5 Apr

Well, after many, MANY views of repulsive and disturbing POF profiles, I lucked out and found what appears to be a decent guy. He has normal pictures, is gainfully employed, and didn’t ask to meet up for sex in the first email.

At first I was hesitant to even text given the large creep factor on POF.  However, I was pleasantly surprised that we had nice communications.  A bonus? The phone calls were even better.

He has a very nice, deep voice that is warm and friendly.  Plus, he made me laugh and feel at ease, which is important.  It was great he sent photos of him and his grandkids, not a D pic.

We’ve been talking/texting for the past few weeks and we’re finally meeting this weekend. Part of me is really excited and part of me is very nervous. What if he turns out to look nothing like the pictures? What if he comes across as sweet and funny over the phone but is boring and mean in person?

Based on what I’ve seen, I seriously doubt the latter will be true.  I’m cautiously optimistic we will have a great time, good conversations, and hopefully, a second date!