Me A Stand-Up Comedian…Gulp?!

9 May

Yes, I’m an idiot.  Well, maybe not that bad but certainly not good.  In my infinite wisdom (or lack of wisdom since it was late on a Friday night after much beer was consumed) I decided to sign up for a stand-up contest at a local comedy club.

The grand prize is a thousand bucks and I think I’m funny so why wouldn’t I go for this competition?  Because, in my drunken stupor, I forgot I’m SCARED TO DEATH OF BEING ON STAGE!

Last year, I had auditioned and got into the performance troupe at a local improv theater and I was so excited.  That is, until I got on stage.  Even with no audience, I was like a deer in headlights.  It was like my brain was frozen…I couldn’t think, couldn’t speak.  I was a performing train wreck.

So, now I’ve put myself in this situation again except this time I will be TOTALLY ALONE ON STAGE!  What the hell was I thinking?  Plus, with stand-up, people can be brutal.  I just picture the drunken hecklers chucking beer bottles and cheese curds at me.  I’ll need years of therapy to recover from this.

I haven’t decided whether to be a giant puss and bail or take a couple of tequila shots and go for it.  I’m planning on attending an open mike night first and see how other people fair on stage.  If all goes well, fantastic!  If not, at least I’ll be able to have a snack and get drunk on stage as I’m being assaulted.

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