Cubes of Joy

2 Oct

Today’s the day.  I’ve reached my limit.  It’s time to vent.  Working in a cube sucks.  If you’ve worked in corporate America, you get where I’m going.  If not, consider yourself lucky and you may be bored to tears or think I’m crazy.

Somehow, no matter where you sit, you’re surrounded by idiots. These folks are completely unaware that they’re “normal” behavior is actually irritating and borderline obnoxious to others.  Let me explain.

First, there’s the cube neighbor to my north (translation: not on my right or left, and his computer is in exactly the same spot on the other side).  Whenever he stands up, he leans forward, looking directly down into my cube (and my shirt).  It’s especially appreciated when I’m eating lunch and he’s hovering over me like a disapproving parent.  This annoying person is also kind enough to clear his throat every 35.2 seconds (trust me, I’m type A, I’ve counted), thus forcing me to turn up the volume on my iTunes to drown him out.

Next, is the co-worker whose laugh is nearly glass-shattering, rising up my spine and causing my face to cringe like I’ve sucked on a bag of lemons.  Again, I thank the almighty Apple for giving me the safety blanket and reprieve that only my iTunes can provide.

Let’s not forget the ever-present “Burnt Popcorn Guy”.  This computer-programming genius, yet “completely clueless in the kitchen” individual, manages to burn his bag of popcorn every day.  The stench that emanates from the microwave is relentless, spreading to the entire floor, contaminating our airspace with that foul smell.

Seriously, how hard is it to follow directions or monitor the number of “pops” you hear and take the bag out?!  If you’ve burned it for the last three months, don’t you think you might have the correct timing figured out by now?

Needless to say, the cubicle life is a true joy.  I can’t think of anywhere else I’d rather be than confined to a “cage” and tortured by the “animals” that surround me.

If any of you have similar stories to share, please do so…misery loves company, right?

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